“Oh no, She’s so good at getting herself out there, she’s running workshops and working with big names… and I’m nowhere”.

Compare and despair. I first heard this term in a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy course. It’s where you can’t help comparing yourself to others, typically only seeing the “successes” in others and the “failures” in yourself.

Having worked with entrepreneurs, I’ve come cross this quite often. They often compare themselves to others and rather than spur them on, it often holds them back.

The root of such behavioral patterns is different for everyone. Using hypnosis, many go back to childhood where they are being compared to their peers by a parent or a teacher. For example, a parent asks the child why he didn’t get an A instead of a B, “jokingly” asks when a child gets 90% on a test – where the 10% went, why they are not top of the class, etc.

Rationally, we know it doesn’t make sense, but in our subconscious minds, it can leave a mark. We may feel we are not good enough. It’s then safer to not do anything rather than feel like we did as a child.

If you find yourself in this situation, first acknowledge your thoughts. Then ask yourself honestly if there is something that this person is doing that you want to do. Tell yourself that you are no longer a child and “you are enough”!