“I’ll sign up to the dating site once I have lost weight”

“I’ll find a new job once my kids are older”

“I’ll sign up for martial art classes once things are quieter in the house”

Have you ever heard someone or yourself say something along these lines? I had wanted to do martial arts for years but never found the time as things never got quieter in our house. Then I realized that the condition I had created did not make sense. There’s always something going on, so I signed up. And I am really glad I did.

Sometimes we don’t realise that we have created a clause and we stop ourselves from doing something that might be really good for us. Sometimes it’s done as an excuse, sometimes out of fear and sometimes it is useful to stop you from thinking about it all the time. Ask yourself if it truly makes sense.

Take the dating example, it’s a classic one as the person may be thinking “I’m scared I won’t find someone” so they focus on something else to keep them occupied. Sign up anyway and see what happens.

With the kids’ example, sometimes people think it’s safer to stay put even though they aren’t happy in their job. Why wait? Look for a job, you might find a wonderful job and you will have more time to enjoy it.

If you have set yourself conditions, ask if they really make sense.