I caught myself saying this to Lucas, my little boy who is 3.5 years old. It was about the 10th time that day. He thought it was hilarious to shout at the top of his voice to get a reaction out of his father and me.
Later, I reflected on this and thought about the times I had heard this from my clients. Some of my clients find it difficult to put themselves out there to be seen and heard, essentially having visibility issues. In hypnotherapy, we have seen scenes of them as children being ignored, told to shut up or having an adult or teacher get annoyed with them. What it translated into was them as adults not being able to speak up because they didn’t want to “disturb” people. They didn’t want to feel rejected again like they did as a child hence not doing anything.
The realization jolted me and it reminded me to tell my little boy that instead of telling him he is too loud, asking him what he needs, that I am there for him and I hear him.
It’s not only what we are say to our children, it’s what we say to ourselves as well. The first step is to be aware of what we are saying. Sometimes we speak out of habit so time to start noticing.
What are you saying?