Some of my clients have good girl syndrome. At some point in their lives, they have adopted this as part of their identity. I get it, I myself have been a “good girl” for a very long time and often fall back into this pattern. It’s not just for women though, men can have it too – The “good boy”.

Sometimes it is because we were praised for being good, sometimes it’s because we think that if we are good, then the situation we are facing will change and improve. Often it’s pressure from ourselves as we want to meet the expectations of others, be it parents, teachers or someone else.

When we are being the “good” girl or boy, we try to please others too much, we don’t voice up for fear of rocking the boat and stifle our own needs.

It’s good to recognise that being well supported you as a child, but as an adult, it may not serve you anymore. It’s important to express yourself, otherwise, emotions can get trapped in the body which can result in a whole range of ailments from pain to illness, depression or sudden outbursts.

It’s not always easy to know if you have a good girl/boy syndrome because it may have become a part of your identity. Try saying “I don’t have to be a good girl anymore” and see if you have any resistance. If you have, that’s telling you something.

You’re an adult now, you choose whether you want to be a good girl…. Or not