I must send off that report. I must contact those potential clients. I must pay the mortgage.


Often I hear clients say “I must do this”, “I have to do this” or “I need to do that”. Sounds pretty heavy and obligation full right?


What if we changed it to something different like “I want to do this”, “I choose to do this” or “I like to do this”. How does it feel instead? Feels lighter somehow doesn’t it?


And then people say to me “But Selina, there are things I have to do like pay the mortgage” and that’s not true, you do want to pay your mortgage because if you don’t, you won’t have a place to live in. If we decide not to do some of the things, we may not like the consequences.


“I want to pay the mortgage” so that I can continue to live in my wonderful home. “I get to contact those potential clients” because I know it will help them. “I like sending off that report” because it helps my stakeholders understand what’s going on.


Although it may sound like it’s the same thing, there is a big difference. It feels like a choice and less of a heavy obligation. It is a choice you have made for yourself and that’s more powerful.


What do you choose to do? What do you want to do? What do you get to do?